love yourself towards healthy

Disordered Eating to Intuitive Eater

I don’t remember the exact date I realized carb cycling was a serious form of disordered eating. Or that I had taken nutrition and fitness to an obsessive level. 

But I do know the twisted journey that led me to where I am today.

I first coined “Don’t hate yourself towards skinny. Love yourself towards healthy!” in an Instagram post in 2013 (on an embarrassingly bad graphic might I add) and it became my personal mantra. It was a promise to myself that I would never go back to starving myself. Eating <500 calories/day to lose weight. It made me feel empowered I had survived an eating disorder.

At that time I was eating 90% “clean foods” and staying within a range of 1200-1400 calories/day. That felt like a lot. I thought I was super healthy.

But I was deep in disordered eating.

In 2016, I converted my gluten-free blog, Below the Fork, into a nutrition/fitness business. I was running bootcamps promoting the 80/20 lifestyle by way of a 2-week elimination diet inspired by Whole30. I felt like I had finally struck a mindful balance and was super healthy.

But I was still deep in my disordered eating.

Then I learned about intermittent fasting and carb cycling in early 2017. At first it seemed so amazing because now I was eating 2200 calories. Compared to my history of 500 or 1200 calories, that felt so freeing! I thought I had healed my eating issues. Because when you define “hating yourself towards skinny” as severely under-eating, it’s easy to confuse healing.

But I was still deep in my disordered eating.

I don’t remember the exact date I realized carb cycling was a form of self-hate. Or that I had taken nutrition and fitness to an obsessive level. Or even where I first heard about intuitive eating. But my journey of becoming an intuitive eater is how I finally learned what it means to truly love yourself towards healthy.

Exactly one year ago today on February 13, 2020 I officially changed my Instagram name to @loveyourself2healthy It was my first big step towards publicly shedding my association with diet culture. I wanted everything I do or say online to be connected to a gentle reminder to love yourself, as you are, right now. 

If the journey is feeling long & twisty to you—trust that it was for me too! 

We CAN heal from years of disordered eating. We CAN heal our relationship with food, fitness and body image by embracing our God-given intuition. I’m here to help you whenever you’re ready 💗

Meridith Oram
Meridith Oram is an anti-diet nutritionist at Love Yourself Towards Healthy where she helps chronic dieters heal their relationship with food, fitness and body image by ditching diet culture and finding freedom in their God-given intuition. Focusing on behavioral change and Intuitive Eating, Meridith helps her clients unlearn diet culture, stop negative self-talk and set wellness goals---not appearance goals. Follow Meridith at @loveyourself2healthy on all social channels.

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